


To Meet Once More As Aliens

by cherrysass



Category: The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Language Kink, M/M, POV First Person, Sexual Content, sorry ursula k le guin, this is really gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7242091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysass/pseuds/cherrysass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A friend. What is a friend, in a world where and friend may be a lover at a new phase of the moon?"<br/>Estraven is in kemmer, and between him and Genly, a friendship (and something else) arises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Meet Once More As Aliens

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologize to Ursula K Le Guin for this. Sorry. But also this canon, no one can tell me otherwise.

“I am in kemmer,” Estraven said simply, not sounding at all ashamed but perhaps embarrassed at the timing of it, “I must not touch you.” He was looking very pointedly at the side of the tent, refusing to meet my eyes. 

“I understand.” He was not looking at me, but he shifted in my direction, “I agree completely.” It was not expressly forbidden by the Ekumen for the envoy to engage in such relationships, but it was expected not to happen, and was likely frowned upon. Regardless, I leaned towards him as Estraven leaned to me. We had only been up on the ice for two days but already I could feel our sexual tension reaching its peak, after building for quite a time, I could not say how long. 

Our hands slid together; it was impossible to tell who initiated the contact, only that it seemed to spark a fire in both of us. Finally he turned to me. Our eyes locked and I stared deeply at him, the man who risked everything for me. His eyes glowed in the dim light of the Chabe stove, and I was struck by the beauty of his features. We held our gazes for a moment, then, together, we moved towards each other enough to close the distance between our lips.

I did not have very much, or any, practice in the way of romantic or sexual acts, but what I lacked in skill Estraven more than made up for. He kissed with all the intensity of the blizzard that roared outside, but far warmer. The kiss quickly went from gentle and questioning to heated and fierce, for Estraven was quickly going into full kemmer and was understandably impatient.

We broke the kiss, and he seemed to be positively glowing. He reached quickly to begin undressing but I caught his hands to momentarily stop him. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, because it was obvious to tell at least part of him was eager, but I did not want to do anything untoward to my companion (partner? friend?) that he would regret when his kemmer period ended. I could admit, now, that he meant too much to me.

“I am sure, Genry Ai, I would have you as my kemmering tonight.” He said in a low voice, and a shiver went down my spine that was not caused by cold. “Do you want to do this?” He asked in return, and I had, in the back of my mind, the sudden thought that if I were a Gethenian, I would swear kemmering to this beautiful man watching me with dark, intense eyes. 

“Yes, I do, very much so.” He gently freed his hands from mine and pulled of his tunic and undershirt quickly. I could feel my face heat up and hoped that in the dim light he would not be able to tell. “However,” I said after a moment, and he looked at me curiously, “I must confess I’ve… never… done this before.” He smiled at me kindly and took my hand in his smaller one, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to my open palm.

“Do not worry, let me take the lead.” I would have said absolutely, please do, something of the sort, but his tender kiss and comfortable partial nudity had temporarily muted me, and all I could do was nod stupidly in response. He grinned at me, briefly, before leaning in to kiss again.  
With some maneuvering, we managed to get to a position with Estraven in my lap, though how we got there without breaking the kiss must have been some magic on his part. He had one hand on my cheek and the other was tangled in my hair. I was not quite sure what to do with my hands but eventually, after a few moments of floundering, I placed one hand on his hip and reached up to run the other through his hair. However, as I did so, he suddenly jerked backwards and made an odd, stifled noise.

“I’m sorry,” I said immediately, “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No you didn’t, the opposite actually,” he said with a shake of his head, “You just caught me off guard. I, like most Gethenians, have sensitive ears which become even more so during kemmer. You touched one and surprised me, but it was not a bad thing” I could not quite tell in the light, but it seemed like the tips of his ears were blushing. 

“If you’re sure,” He nodded, then bent down to kiss me again before I could say anything else. Sitting in my lap, Estraven was a little taller than me for the first time, and he used that advantage to deepen the kiss. When I said I had no experience, I meant it, this was all new, and just as alien to me as he was. As his tongue flicked out to brush along my bottom lip I felt an unfamiliar heat pulse through my body. In return I ran my hand through his long hair again, this time intentionally brushing against the curve of his ear, and I felt him shiver against me. 

He seemed intent on kissing me senseless, and with just that kiss very nearly achieved it. As he pulled away, Estraven caught my lower lip between his sharp teeth and pulled on it lightly. I gasped involuntarily, my response partly because of surprise and partly because of the spark of pleasure the sensation caused. He was smiling as he leaned back, dark eyes half-lidded, and gestured to me.

“Will you be alright if you remove some of your layers of clothing?” He asked and I nodded.

“I will be fine. And besides,” I added daringly, “I trust you’ll keep me warm.” It was not incredibly charming, but it made Estraven laugh. His laugh was a beautiful, musical sound I wanted to hear as often as I could. 

“Then remove this,” He gestured to my coat and hieb, grinning, “and I will show you just how warm I’ll keep you.” His tone was joking, but there was a provocative undertone in his voice, a promise of what was to come. 

Estraven was being patient with me, which I appreciated as this was my first time ever doing anything sexual in nature, but I could tell he was already in full kemmer, so I wasted no time shrugging out of my coat and undoing the belt of my hieb. He helped me out of my hieb and undershirt, and though I was now shirtless I did not feel cold. I was, instead, preoccupied by his hands, which skimmed over my exposed skin almost reverently. I took this as my sign that I could touch him as well, for I had been too shy to explore before. He seemed to arch into my touch, and I would have found that perhaps a little funny, but I caught myself doing the same thing. This had been a long time coming, though we had not known it, but we were both yearning for this. 

Leaning down, Estraven pressed a series of quick kisses along my jawline to my ear. “Lay back,” his voice was low, and I could feel his warm breath tickle my ear. I complied eagerly, laying back on my coat and sleeping bag. He leaned over me, his long, dark hair making a curtain around our faces. Impulsively, I reached up and tucked a strand behind his ear. He shivered and hummed in response, a sound I felt reverberate through me. He leaned down as if he were going to kiss me again, but instead shifted to kiss my neck. I gasped, unused to any such sensation. My hands roamed his back as he left a trail of kisses down my neck. Suddenly, he scraped his sharp teeth over my collarbone and in my surprise and arousal, a quiet moan escaped my lips. I immediately snapped my mouth shut in embarrassment, but the expression he was giving me made me feel a little less ashamed. His eyes were wide, and glowing, and he looked both pleased with himself and aroused (though whether that was because of me or just due to the fact that he was in kemmer I was not sure). 

“Harth,” I said breathlessly, though I did not quite know if I was asking a question or making a plea.

“Call me by my given name,” he said in an alluring voice, leaning in to whisper in my ear, “Call me Therem.” He caught my earlobe between his teeth and pulled lightly, and the combination of that and his words very nearly caused another moan to slip from me. 

“Therem…” My voice was shaky, but just me calling him by his name was enough to cause a shiver to run through him. In response he kissed me fiercely, and I found myself swept away by the storm of Estraven’s passion. It seemed as though all my senses were filled with him. His hands roamed my neck, chest and sides, it felt as though he was everywhere at once. His tongue swiped across my lower lip again and I parted my lips for him. The sensation was unusual, but it sent a wave of heat and arousal through me (for when he promised to keep me warm it seemed he was not lying). His tongue met mine, darting out from behind sharp teeth, and I could not stop the small, needy noise that left my throat. He hummed in satisfaction against my lips and did something deft and indescribable with his tongue that left me breathless. 

He pulled away slightly, leaving me gasping, and moved instead to kiss my neck. Unthinkingly, I tipped my head back to allow him more room. I was sure I felt him smile against my neck. His sharp teeth scraped lightly over my pulse point and my breath caught in my throat, which was the only thing that stifled the noise that would have otherwise escaped me. He slid downwards, pressing a gentle kiss to the junction of my neck and shoulder before grinding his hips against mine. This did elicit a noise from me, though he let out a small noise as well, and I did not feel embarrassed because the quiet moan that came from Estraven’s lips was the most sensual noise I had ever heard. 

It was fast, and hot, as he moved his hips against mine, and, acting on my instincts, I was able to pick up a rhythm to match his motions. He was still leaning over me, kissing and nipping and touching my neck and chest. I felt like I was floating, lost in his sensations, and to ground myself I threaded both of my hands through his hair. He bit my collarbone hard, not quite enough to draw blood, then licked and kissed the spot until I was sure that if my skin were lighter he would have left a noticeable mark on me. It was not painful, instead the feeling of his mouth on me sent fire through my blood. Unintentionally, I pulled his hair, distracted by him, but he moaned against my skin and I figured he did not mind that much. 

Eventually, albeit reluctantly, Estraven pulled away. His face was flushed and his lips were slightly swollen from kissing and I had never seen a more beautiful sight. “Pants, off,” he said breathlessly, and with some manipulation we were able to rid each other of the last of our clothes. Now, fully exposed to each other, we paused a moment. Under his gaze, I did not feel embarrassed nor self conscious, only warm. His figure was exquisite, and I did not want to look away. We were both perhaps a little surprised that he had taken on the male role in kemmer, but he did not seem too phased by it, and I trusted he knew what he was doing. Truly it made no difference to me, already aroused and willing, I would have happily gone along with anything he said or did. 

“Therem…” I said, reaching up to place one hand on his cheek. He turned his head slightly to press a kiss to my inner wrist. 

“How do you want to do this, Genry?” he asked softly, placing his hand on my chest in turn.

“Do what you want, I am yours.” I was earnest in my offer, and his eyes seemed to glow from my words. 

“That is quite the offer, not one made lightly.” He leaned down, his dark eyes staring intently into mine. 

“I am aware,” I replied, for I knew he only said this due to my inexperience. But just because I was inexperienced did not mean I was naïve. “I mean it,” I leaned up slightly to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth and repeated, “I am yours.” 

A shiver went through him. “If you are sure,” he hummed and his words seemed to echo through me. I nodded and he kissed me with a dizzying intensity that would have swept me off my feet had I been standing. His hands slid down to my hips and I shivered from both his touch and anticipation. He was, and this was, so alien to me, yet I had never felt so fierce a love as I did for him, and though this was my first time, with him I felt no anxiety. My heart was racing and my entire being felt as though it was yearning for him. 

His fingers danced lightly on the sensitive skin of my hips and thighs, never quite touching where I wanted him most. I was flustered and could feel myself losing some control over my actions as my whole body arched into his touch. I found I did not mind this loss of restraint, instead I found it quite tempting to give into impulse and instinct. My hands roamed his back, perhaps a bit telling of the desperation I felt. However, when I reached up to touch the back of his neck, his breath stuttered and he gasped (as he had been making me do for some time) and I felt some victory in that. 

“Spread your legs,” Estraven said with a sly look and I zealously compiled as he moved downward to kneel between my thighs. I felt a little self-conscious under his lustful gaze, for I was already incredibly aroused, but it looked as though he was as well and I did not feel so bad. Suddenly, with his only warning being a slight grin, he wrapped his hand around my cock and gave a long, slow pump. My hips jerked and I moaned loudly, and it felt as though all the blood in me rushed downward. His free hand pinned my hips down as he continued with a torturously slow pace. I was loud, moaning freely, but I could not bring myself to feel any embarrassment. 

I did not notice that his other hand slid from my hips downwards until I felt a warm, damp finger brush against my inner thigh. My heart sped up and my breath stuttered. “Therem,” his name slipped from my lips, a reverent plea and I felt more than I saw him shiver in response. 

“Relax, Genry,” he murmured, his voice gravelly with arousal and his hand around my cock speeding up ever so slightly. His finger slid into me and I gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, but tried to relax as he instructed. I felt very nearly overwhelmed by the feeling of him touching me everywhere, as I had never been touched before, and it was exhilarating. He was slow, unendingly patient for me in my inexperience and I was both grateful and keen to move on. The more coherent part of my mind marveled at his capacity for patience, even in full Kemmer as he was. The other part of my mind was too far gone in pleasure to consider anything but physical sensations. 

He crooked his finger and I saw stars as a rush of pleasure unlike anything I’d felt before shot through me, and I moaned his name loudly and unabashedly. It felt as though I was already teetering on the edge of orgasm, although I did not come yet. When I regained some semblance of control over myself and my thoughts, he had two fingers in me. It felt incredibly strange, but he was gentle and never hurt me, and any discomfort I might have felt was eclipsed by his other hand steady on my cock. 

All too soon, however, he pulled his hands away. A needy whine tore itself from me at the loss of contact. “Are you ready?” He asked, making a vague soothing noise low in his throat, and I nodded, trying to relax as he said earlier, though anticipation made it difficult. He shifted, hooking one of my legs around his waist and the other over his shoulder. The position was not the most comfortable, but as I felt him begin to slowly press into me I could not find any disagreeable words, nor any words at all. It was as if, in his agonizingly slow movement, he had stolen all the air from my lungs. As overwhelming as the feeling was, nothing compared to the beautiful moan that slipped from his lips, a sound of pure sensation that seemed to resonate through me. It did not hurt, I felt only the intense, euphoric rush of a union so long in the making. 

He began to move, torturously slow at first, though even going at this pace I could not stop the gasps and whimpers that fell from me. Perhaps it was good that I could not keep quiet, for ever noise I made seem to spur him to go faster. He began to increase his pace, and as he got faster I could do nothing but hold onto him as an anchor, for it felt as though I would be swept away by this bliss. 

Estraven was moving quickly now, and I was just as quickly losing coherency. My gasps and whimpers had turned to moans and words that tumbled from my mouth in every language I knew. His name was among the many phrases that fell from my lips, and I couldn't quite tell but it seemed as though my litany of jumbled pleas and praises in my native tongue were causing a reaction in him, even though he could not understand me. “Please, ah, Therem, yes… ahh, please...” I panted, arousal making me slip back into the language I knew best, but that did not matter to him, he answered me in kind.

“Genry,” he was not as loud as I was, having better control of himself, but just the sound of him moaning my name was enough to bring me to the edge. I could tell he was close as well, both from his quiet gasps and from the fact that he grasped my cock again, pumping me in time with his thrusts. I did not last long, and I came with a shout of his name. He was quick to follow, my name escaping him as a small gasp, as reverent as a prayer. He pulled out and collapsed, half next to me, half on top of me, and though we both reeked of sex, I would have happily not moved from that spot with him so close to me. 

After a few moments, however, he moved sluggishly to tidy us both up, as we had made a mess of ourselves. He would not hear me when I offered to help, and he cleaned up our disarray quickly before moving back towards me. Silently, I extended my arm to him, an offer to sleep together, and he settled down, laying his head on my shoulder. I draped my coat over our naked forms, sure I would be cold in the morning but at that moment I was to tired and content to care. Estraven was warm against me, and I felt a sudden and intense surge of affection for this beautiful man.

Words, unbidden but heartfelt, came from my lips. “I love you, Therem,” I whispered in English, and he looked up at me, curious and languid and captivating.

“What was it you just said in your native tongue?” He asked sleepily, since he had only understood his name.

“I said ‘thank you, Therem’.” I said in Karhidish. He smiled, a knowing look as if he did not believe me, but he did not press me for an honest answer.

“You too, Genry,” He said instead, and I could not tell whether he answered my Karhidish or if he had guessed what I had really said. He said nothing else, just laid down bearing that knowing smile.

Later, once Estraven was asleep, I lay in the dark, contemplating. Unprecedented as it was, I felt absolutely no regret, only satisfaction, and perhaps something akin to joy. Awake, watching him rest, my thoughts wandered to the conversation he and I had two weeks ago, when I told him of the time jumps I had made, and what I had left behind in order to reach this planet.

“I thought myself an exile.” He had said.

“You for my sake - I for yours,” I had replied. And now, as I looked down at the naked man sleeping on my chest, I thought that if I could just have him, this would not be exile. For by his side felt like home.


End file.
